


In Which Jade Is Late To Her Anniversary Dinner

by buffer



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, I am trash writing trash, Quilly's birthday fic, Romance, here you go you big git, more like generic romantic trash, proper romancing, proper wooing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-26
Updated: 2014-05-26
Packaged: 2018-01-26 13:21:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1689830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buffer/pseuds/buffer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jade is late. Even by using Alternian clocks she is so very very late. </p><p>Post Sburb.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Jade Is Late To Her Anniversary Dinner

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Quilly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quilly/gifts).



> Happy Birthday, Quilly. I cannot hope to measure up to your talent, but here's this heap of dross anyway.

It was maddening how something so insignificant and overlooked could suddenly become so frightfully infuriating given the right circumstances. The second hand on the watch around his wrist added another count to the running total amount of time that the seat in front of him remained empty. He did not keep a running tally of the times where he had been made to wait; it would have been hypocritical of him. The left sleeve of his shirt gaped, exposing grey, misted flesh that surrounded a black watch with a red circle that framed the face and grey hands – the squiggles of the Alternian numerical system began to glow a bright green, and then faded after being covered by the fabric that concealed it from view.

The level of water in the glass, half empty with two small ice cubes, began to tilt in one direction, then the other. His fist came down softly on his knee before directing it away from the singular post which supported the table. The knife and the spoon ceased its soft slinking.

Memories of the last meal he had shared in this restaurant arose. There was a smell of fish, his or hers he could not recall, and something about pasta on the floor.

Or was it in the cup of the elderly gentleman seated one table over?

The snort that accompanied the exaggerated inhale interrupted and chased the daydream away – a technique learned from a colleague at work. His vision of the empty chair in front of him was replaced by the backs of his eyelids as he took a deep breath. The evening’s itinerary ran through his mind, and once he was satisfied that nothing had been forgotten, he opened his eyes. A black dress with green trim was obscured by the stained wooden chair that its wearer was leaning upon.

“Jade,” he said, causing a few patrons to collectively refocus their gaze for but a moment. His own chair spent a short time on two legs as he stood to rush around the table. He placed his hand on her hip and rotated her about an external axis, giving him the room needed to draw the chair backward. “Good evening!”

“Good evening, M’dear,” she replied in kind. She stepped to the edge of the table and awaited the slight nudge to the back of her knees before sitting down. “I’m really sorry that I’m late.”

“Harley, you would be late to your own funeral,” he retook his seat and smiled. “Something as insignificant as a dinner scheduled three months in advance could possibly motivate you to leave your place of occupation, and we both know that’s true.”

“Karkat Vantas,” Jade exclaimed, touching the tips of her fingers to her chin. “Are you suggesting that I have forgotten our four year anniversary of the day I told you to hate-marry yourself?”

Karkat raised an eyebrow and the shadows under his eyes elongated slightly; Jade’s mouth hung in an open elliptical shape, fanning herself slightly after a few seconds. In the end, it was Karkat who broke composure.

“Ha!” Jade exclaimed. “You know the rules, Admiral Bellows. You laugh, you pay.”

“As is fitting, madam,” the greasy voice actually ruffled his hair with those words. When Karkat turned his head to look at the waiter, he had to lower his head in order to look the man in the eye. Damn that man was short. Was it possible for such a short man to successfully cater to the needs of several patrons?

Regardless, the man needed correcting. “Madam,” Karkat crooned in a perfectly awful French accent, though the waiter did not speak with one. “That’s a good one. As if a woman with constantly wrinkled fingers, who spends her days scrubbing algae off of rocks, combing the whiskers of cat-like water flappers, and saying ‘Eureka’ could ever achieve the level of dignity that is achieved by human aristocracy.”

“If you had any reservations about dating a marine biologist, you should have said something a long time ago,” Jade countered. “And let me tell you,” she faced the waiter, “that this man once used a toothbrush to scrub between his toes, and then attempted to use it on his teeth afterward. Any attempt you make to call him ‘sir’ will result in you losing your tip!”

“I’ll take that chance, madam,” he said with a genuine grin.

Once the laughter had died down, Jade explained the beverage she craved, and Karkat requested a glass of warm water.

“So, how are the eels doing?” Karkat asked, placing his head in his hands as he listened.

Their drinks were placed on the table halfway through her explanation, along with a pair of salads.

“They’re getting better. The new guy, the one you recommended, is helping out quite a lot.”

“Good, I’m glad he’s fitting in.”

After the appetizers were silently scarfed away, the small plates were replaced with larger ones.

“But, I don’t remember ordering,” Jade tried to protest.

“The _Monsieur_ ,” that greasy voice was laced with mockery this time, “has taken the liberty.”

“Karkat, you shouldn’t have,” she said with a wink.

 

 

 

The brisk night air could not hope to chill their clasped hands, largely due to the lump of burning coal that Karkat clutched. The bases of his fingers were compressed, and when he looked to his right he could see the smile that didn't reach its usual height, the shadows cast on her forehead, and the slightly drooped eyelids.

"You're squeezing me pretty hard," she said.

"Sorry!" he let go entirely before grasping her palm. "Come on, I need to take you somewhere."

Balance was thrown left and right as their feet slipped on the concrete, and he pulled her along in an awkward jog.

"Where are we going?" she cried inbetween laughter.

"Prepare yourself, Harley, for the ultimate wooing."

Apparently “the ultimate wooing” would be taking place atop a small crest in the park.

Apparently it would entail one loud troll getting down on one knee.

Apparently it involved the wiping of some dark substance off a skirt.

“You are a monster,” Jade smacked the top of his head as Karkat stood.

“I was inspired by Jim,” he offered with a closed mouthed smile, then pointed toward the moon. “Do you see that?”

She followed his finger. “What am I looking for?”

“You’ll know it when you see it.”

She didn’t see it. After a minute of searching the skies, she couldn’t see anything. Two green, irregular orbs blocked the starlight, and as Jade spun around, the hands that held them draped around her shoulders and clasped.

“You didn’t,” she exclaimed.

“I did. That stupid symbol on the shirt you wore as you thwarted my every effort to ruin your life. Forever captured in jade.  Will you wear them?”

“Of course I will!”

He smiled, and affixed them to her ears.

“What did I ever do to deserve you,” Jade asked.

“Oh, come on. I may love romcoms, but even I think that’s a cheese ending.”

 


End file.
